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Ra
05 July 2008 @ 08:36 pm
tadaima~~  
back home from gombak.


now, waiting for pizzas to come and then to watch all the j-dramas! tomorrow, i'm going back to campus and classes will start on monday. oh boy..the whole week is going to be my adjustment week, with books to buy, smart card photo to take, to find all the classes and the kulliyah buildings my BM and Unggas classes are in and of course, to organize my stuff and try to make my compartment looks more spacious, which is doubtful. =.=

sigh, can't wait.
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Feelin': exhausted
 
 
Ra
30 June 2008 @ 05:36 pm
undergrad  
tomorrow morning, i'll be going to UIA Gombak. From then, my life as a university student will finally begin.

it seems like it's not a big of a deal. i don't really feel excited, and while i was packing, i felt like as if i was going back to my matriculation centre for another semester there. but it's actually me, entering university.

i'll be the first one in the family, and i think my parents are excited too. finally, their first daughter to enter a university. i might not be as good as my cousins, getting offer letters from overseas universities, but i have seen the proud smile on my parents' faces, my relatives and those who have heard that i've got accepted to UIA. i'm the first from both sides of my parents' families to enter this university too. 

i wouldn't know how big their smiles would be if i were accepted to an oversea university, but i've began to learn, i should be happy that i at least have a place to go to now. not all of my cousins have university-level education, so i've learnt that 'worst things could have happened.' and even though i won't have an experience learning somewhere out of this country like some of my cousins and most of my friends, somewhere in me, i am looking forward for tomorrow. 

and although i've become proud and yet jealous of them at the same time, and sometimes i do wonder if they ever feel proud of what i've achieved so far. but then i thought, won't it be better to ask myself that question after i've hold my own degree, have a respectable job and is making a good name for myself, hopefully internationally, in the next few years?

a reminder to myself, just in case i forget this, somewhere in the near future. Right now, it doesnt matter if i'm doing something i'm not interested in, have no passion in it and is not satisfied with.  as long as i can keep my parents, sisters and relatives to smile proudly at me, as long as my friends still consider me a great person, even though i'm not as internationally qualified as them, i will do my best and give out everything to achieve great results.

i'll show them, that i can graduate locally and still be a great, successful, well-known person in the future. Far, far, far greater than any of them could've been!

with that said, wish me all the best tomorrow!!

Ramizah Rais, 19
Law Undergrad, IIUM.
 
 
Feelin': determined
 
 
Ra
25 June 2008 @ 11:33 pm
offer letter  
so i finally received my offer letter today, not like it's a surprise, since it's already confirmed i've gotten a place in gombak. matric number starts with 08 and i always preffered it to be 07...

and my mahallah/college is suffiyah, which is far from AIKOL, but apparently is the rose among the thorns, since my friend told me it's surrounded by guys' colleges. =.= 

somehow, i'm just afraid what will happen when there's black out. hopefully, undergrads are more grown up than when they did their foundations and would not scream like idiots when there are no electricity and wont be trying to enter the girl's college and wont disturb the girls from their good night sleep.

i only hope. =.=

but anyway, like i said a few times already. i am not looking forward to be entering the uni, even though the offer letter mentioned so proudly about its beautiful sceneries and surrounding, and i know i'll still see my friends and have them in all my classes, and i arranged my schedule so perfectly that all my classes start at 9 and finish at 5 and i have fridays off. 

but the thought of four years doing law. who'd be looking forward to that??
 
 
Feelin': nauseated
 
 
Ra
21 June 2008 @ 10:24 am
OMG WHY LAA??!  
after reasoning with myself that i cannot afford to go to taiwan, and asking my parents for financial help will surely be resulted in a "no', i've come to let go of the idea to actually see hyouteimyu myself.

but that was before finding out KAZUKI and SAITO are going to join in the october tour. and they said they're performing in korea and taiwan too!

I WANT TO GO!!!!

*headdesk*

i woke up today, checked my friends page, and BAM, the unsuspecting news hit me. i almost had a heart attack. =.= then i had [info]akenosamato translate for me, which of course made me fangirling more.

at times like this, two things run into my head:

1) WHY LA I DIDNT WORK THROUGH OUT ALL MY HOLS SINCE SPM??!!! which actually still wont work, considering i'm not a psychic to know about this news back in the time, so i might have used the money for other stuff

2) WHY LA WASNT I BORN AS A KOREAN OR TAIWANESE??!! which is actually unreasonable too, since because if I were, then we wouldnt be seeing this misery-filled post.

*HEADDESK*
 
 
Ra
20 June 2008 @ 01:38 am
i truly apologize for being emotional  

PATIENCE (ˈpā-shənz) 

-is the state of endurance under difficult circumstances. This can mean persevering in the face of delay or provocation without becoming annoyed or upset; or exhibiting forbearance when under strain, especially when faced with longer-term difficulties.

Patience in Islam 

-is one of the best and most valuable virtues of life. Through patience, a Muslim believes that an individual can grow closer to God and thus attain true peace. It is also stressed in Islam, that God is with those who are patient, more specifically during suffering.

"No one will be granted such goodness except those who exercise patience and self-restraint, none but persons of the greatest good fortune." 
(41:35) 

-source from Wikipedia

Nowadays, everyone keep telling me "Just wait, your time will come." I think they are all under the impression that I simply do not have the patience. 

But have you realized I've been patient for the past 18 years, 7 months and 19 days ago?

"sure..i'll wait for the next 20 years..i've been waiting long enough already..so what the heck! and if nothing happens by then, i'll still wait, because i'll keep on believing in your words that 'my time will come' even when i am lying on my deathbed. i will still cling on that words and follow you around and keep on waiting until it comes true while my body rots seven feet below us."

honestly, i don't mind waiting. i've been waiting this long already. but it is damn tiring hearing people saying the same thing over and over again to me. i know you meant well, but do you really think that will help? just stop. it breaks my heart even more. 

this is why, no matter how much i miss and want to see you guys, talking to all of you will bring this part of ramizah that is tired of pretending to be okay while you ride on her dream, tired of listening to your counselings, tired of thinking how tired it is, and tired of writing the same message all over again in her LJ. 

 

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Feelin': crushed
 
 
Ra
19 June 2008 @ 08:27 pm
the things i do for love  
yesterday i  told [info]akenosama about the things you do for love. and today, i realized, i love my PC and laptop a lot. you see, i spend a large number of hours on the PC and laptop, either surfing the net or writing, or photoshop-ing and etc. then when i feel something is not right with the PC and/or laptop, i'll do all kinds of clean up to make sure my PC and laptop are in very good conditions. even sacrificing my sleep just to get through hours of online scanning programs.

but somehow, maintaining this every other month, is getting kinda tiring. if it's only the laptop, i'll understand since it's MINE. but the PC is a family property and i'm the only one doing the work just because i understand the PC better than anyone else in the family. and i repeat, it's getting tiring. =.=

and now something is wrong with the internet connection and i dont know what is it. called up streamyx and they said it's my splitter. i changed it, and the same thing keeps happening. i'm not even that computer savvy to begin with, so i'm at my wits. 

at times like this, i wish i had a brother who knows what to do. i have a cousin with the description that i want, but he's out of reach. and now i'm making pointless post because i have no idea what i should do and it's driving me nuts. 

ARGH! *headdesk*
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Feelin': frustrated
 
 
Ra
18 June 2008 @ 06:45 pm
 
i didnt do anything productive today, but i did find this.



when i was living in the States, I woke up every morning watching Alvin and the Chipmunks the cartoon and The Lulu Show. Loved these shows. The clip is from my fav movie of the Chipmunks; Alvin and the Chipmunks meet the Wolfman, and the song and lyrics are just love~

Miss the old times...sigh..
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Feelin': complacent
 
 
Ra
17 June 2008 @ 10:37 pm
 
been busy the past..um 5 days, i guess?

on friday, slept over at Aliah's house since her sister's wedding is on saturday and I was helping out. All her relatives,and her own brothers were confused when they saw me and mistook me as Aliah.

on saturday, the wedding day. Became the 'bunga telur girl' which really means the girls who pass out gift bags to the visitors while they eat. It was tiring, and my feet hurt like hell. Came back home by ERL and it was my first time riding it. I have finally managed to ride on all the public transportations in malaysia.





on sunday, baked two cakes. one cake, carrot walnut cake, for my father for father's day, and a chocolate cake for my sister (since she doesnt eat the first cake, and demanded a cake of her own) for good luck wishes on her drama competition camp that starts today.




on monday, yesterday, went out with Dira and Najihah to the Curve. We watched The Icredible Hulk (the cameo appearance of one Mr. Stark, was really surprising) and toured around IKEA, since I wanted ideas to design the new house.

on tuesday, today, I have finally completed my fanart! It took a few days and countless hours. It's for my fanfiction in ff.net and i've finally finished this one. 


 tomorrow...i have not yet decided what I want to do to fill up the time. =.=
  
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Feelin': accomplished
 
 
Ra
13 June 2008 @ 01:19 am
i hate this feeling  

tonight, or last night if you want to be exact, went out to chilis mid valley for reunion dinner. i havent seen the gang since march and janaardhan came back for hols from russia.

then when i came back home, i've suddenly had a thought about my ideal kind of guy. i dont know how i got to that. i i was only cleaning the computer when the thought hit me. and the fact that i was listening to tanaka koki rap also helped.

anyway here goes.

Ra's list of her ideal boyfriend/man in life:

1.must be a science graduatee, medic preferably.
2. will be able to teach our kids add maths, bio, chem and physics like my dad taught me
3. can at least cook ONE decent meal. mee goreng mamak will be a bonus
4. can play many kinds of sports. football, basketball, badminton, etc. 
5. good in mind games, eg chess, iq games etc.
6.knowledgeable (sp?) in tech stuff. 
7. look cool while driving.
8.is really taller than me that even if i wear my heels or wedges, he'd still look taller.
9. look cool while walking
10. has nice hair. no matter what kind of haircut, it will always look good on him
11. funny. jokes a lot. has a nice laughter.
12. make me feel comfortable around him
13. is good with kids and friendly towards them.
14. he can sings. not like josh groban or anuar zain. but just normal singing that doesnt make my ears bleed.
15: can rap songs.tanaka koki part or beat box. or hip hop dance. or try to do it, fails but still impresses me.
16. doesnt smoke, doesnt drink, and doesnt do drugs. big No-No.
17. make my heart skips a beat when he calls me, 'Ra'

yeah...i have no idea why i'm writing about this...randoming again. but just to tell myself, until i find this guy with these criterias, i wont be upsetting myself about not having a boyfriend and etc. hopefully

ok...throw the tomatoes PLEASE!! i need a slap on the face. and sleep too..i've been staying up since last night cleaning 3 computers... T_T

 
 
Feelin': weird
 
 
Ra
07 June 2008 @ 11:09 am
 
My personality type: the spontaneous idealist. Take the free iPersonic personality test! 

am watching change now. it's actually a drama that does make my heart go 'doki doki'.

am not a big fan of KimuTaku, but the drama is actually good. 

this is the only time i'd be interested in politics. haha.
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Feelin': content
 
 
 
 

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