PATIENCE (ˈpā-shənz) 

-is the state of endurance under difficult circumstances. This can mean persevering in the face of delay or provocation without becoming annoyed or upset; or exhibiting forbearance when under strain, especially when faced with longer-term difficulties.

Patience in Islam 

-is one of the best and most valuable virtues of life. Through patience, a Muslim believes that an individual can grow closer to God and thus attain true peace. It is also stressed in Islam, that God is with those who are patient, more specifically during suffering.

"No one will be granted such goodness except those who exercise patience and self-restraint, none but persons of the greatest good fortune." 
(41:35) 

-source from Wikipedia

Nowadays, everyone keep telling me "Just wait, your time will come." I think they are all under the impression that I simply do not have the patience. 

But have you realized I've been patient for the past 18 years, 7 months and 19 days ago?

"sure..i'll wait for the next 20 years..i've been waiting long enough already..so what the heck! and if nothing happens by then, i'll still wait, because i'll keep on believing in your words that 'my time will come' even when i am lying on my deathbed. i will still cling on that words and follow you around and keep on waiting until it comes true while my body rots seven feet below us."

honestly, i don't mind waiting. i've been waiting this long already. but it is damn tiring hearing people saying the same thing over and over again to me. i know you meant well, but do you really think that will help? just stop. it breaks my heart even more. 

this is why, no matter how much i miss and want to see you guys, talking to all of you will bring this part of ramizah that is tired of pretending to be okay while you ride on her dream, tired of listening to your counselings, tired of thinking how tired it is, and tired of writing the same message all over again in her LJ.